Overachiever

 I've refrained from discussing this publicly thus far, and declined many interviews by the press, in the hope things will resolve before my death. However, it appears to be going nowhere, so I wanted to share this story. I imagine some of you might one-day run across my child Sol (now going by they/them, I’ve heard). They and I don't have a relationship and haven't been together for 1.5 years, although not by my choice. My ex-wife has been attempting to present it as Sol's decision or desire, but that is a lie. The truth is that she began sabotaging our relationship from the day we split up. There have been repeated messages and attempts to dissuade me from seeing him, and later, several lawsuits against me, with the claim that me practicing polyamory is ruining their life, and that the values of loving more makes me a bad parent. As we all know, every story has 3 sides. Mine, hers, and the truth. No one is obliged to believe me over her, but the fact is that 3 separat

I   started putting this collection of stories after I was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and realized it was going to cut my life short. At the time, I didn’t know how long I had, but as I complete this piece now (September 2022), it is clear I only have a few weeks to live, and I will have died shortly after my 49 th birthday. This book is not meant for the public, so I’m not going to publish it, though I’ve made sure my partners are aware of it, so if someone were to want to read it, they can. Printing this commercially would cost an arm and a leg and I don’t imagine anyone going and spending $30-40 just to read my bullshit, but who knows. Maybe someday I will be thought-of as someone special or worthy of that kind of attention. Otherwise, the main purpose and audience for this book is my son Sol. After a long and frustrating legal battle with my ex-wife, I was prevented from spending time with him since mid 2021 and I have reason to believe he was lied to and manipulated to

This is a collection of photos of me over the years, from age 1 in 1974 to today.

  This last few weeks, several friends wondered why I don’t go to Pride and why I don’t go to see the 4th of July fireworks shows. After all, Pride is a big part of my life, and the fireworks are something everyone likes, pretty-much. The reason for this is that I am repelled by the kind of massive crowds that flock to these events. WHY??? The following may not make me appear to be a good person, as it could be seen as if I’m arrogant or thing I’m better than everyone else. The thing about crowds is that when I look at the crowds that flood many public events, or even think about them, it makes me sick. Event organizers treat their “customers” (even if those are not paying customers) like animals. If people need to get-in or get tickets, they will almost always under-staff the entry doors and ticket booths, leading to creation of endless lines. Such lines are often in the blistering sun, freezing cold, and even pouring rain, with little or no cover. If concessions are available, they

  There's something that I never understood about myself: seems that I don't like to win. Not that I don't enjoy being good at what I do, or scoring achievements. I do, quite a bit, but for some reason, I’ve never been competitive. As a result, I don't enjoy games. I have played stuff occasionally over the years, from sports through board games to computer games, but the only stuff I enjoyed were single player computer games, and even that has waned by age 16 or so. My ex-wife was a huge fan of games, and one of our main contentions over the years was her constant attempt to make me play with her. Once a year or so, I would capitulate (until 2016, when I finally got her to find some friends to play with instead of me), but I hated it and was just zombiying my way through the game, often times playing intentionally suboptimal to lose and get it over with. What I still don't know is WHY. What is it that makes me not only dislike the games, but feel no interest in

  This is an update to stuff I wrote before, a continuation, maybe conclusion to my parenting saga. Recap: after our separation, Paula vowed to keep me and Sol apart (“TYou’ll never see Sol again”, she yelled at me in November 2017 one morning when she was picking him up from my apartment). In 2019, she sued me in the hopes that the court will agree with her that I was some kind of a monster and keep us apart, but she failed and I was acquitted in May 2021. Following that, she decided to just go rogue and refused to let me see him. Neither pleads nor threats helped. For a few months, I tried to find a lawyer to represent me, but both lawyers and courts were still dealing with massive back-logs due to the covid pandemic, and I couldn’t find any to help (most lawyers I called never called back, or called back a month later to tell me they cannot take any new cases). It was also around that time that my kidney disease was discovered, and between testing, therapy and shit hitting the fan